Coldwashed Comedy

1. Telling a great joke to the wrong crowd.
Tailor your jokes to the type of audience present. If a joke seems to hit a chord, try to tell jokes similar to it without becoming redundant.

2. Giving in to your nerves.
Of course, you’ll get nervous, but according to Ellen DeGeneres, it’s best to try to slow down a little bit than rattle away. This will show your audience that you have a measure of control.

3. Piling jokes upon jokes.
In comedy, timing is king. If you’ve mastered it, don’t blow it by telling another one while your audience is still laughing. Wait for the laughter to fade a little bit before beginning your next joke, or else your audience will miss it.

4. Blame it on the crowd.
All comedians get bad nights and so will you. But don’t blame your audience for their bad mood or their lousy humor or their ignorance. Learn from your mistakes and tell jokes that get better and better with each appearance.

5. If you can’t handle the heat…
No matter what they tell you, you will encounter hecklers. Calls and booing can distract you but don’t overreact. The worst thing you can do is to get angry at an unruly member of your audience and start a fight. Throw back a funny line to calm them down and win them over.

6. Keep it short, stupid.
Long jokes are bad jokes. Try to keep your jokes short but sharp. You will bore your crowd if you tell a joke longer than it would take to toast bread.

7. The pot and the kettle
Never, under any circumstances, try to backstab a fellow comedian. It’s not only bad for the ‘brotherhood’ but it’s also bad for business. You could be badmouthing the next Dave Chappelle, for all you know. And when he’s famous, you’d miss out on a really good chance in case you’ll need help in the future.

8. One night doesn’t a famous comedian make.
Sometimes a few great gigs can make you giddy, but don’t slack off. More than really great jokes, comedians become better through practice and hard work. Review your routine, take away what doesn’t work and stick to what does and learn every step of the way.

9. Choosing bad role models and then emulating them.
What’s worse than a bad comedian? Another comedian trying to top his act. Bad comedy is just that – bad. Trying to make it better will only make it worse. If you find a bad comedian, keep a good 20 feet away. Learn only from the best and you won’t regret it later.

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